Sharing your life with someone is a daily job of incredible learning! It implies knowing ourselves first, so that we can then truly know the other.

When we rely on the truth to lay the foundations of our relationship, we create space to be ourselves and allow the other person to be who they truly are.

On the contrary, when we create a partner that does not exist, we are bringing disillusionment to both. Disillusionment to us because nobody can ever be everything we want and to them because we force them every day, to be a person that they don’t even know. As much as we try to be the one the other expects us to be, most of the times we forget who we are and end up knowing even less who the other would like us to be.

To love is to respect. To accept. Respecting and accepting the other as he(she) is will make them want to overcome themselves every day to be the best person they can for theirselves and for those who love them.

Love has this wonderful capacity for inner transformation.

What if, instead of castrating him(her), you give them room to grow?

If we don’t, we are not just disrespecting our partner but mainly us.

We fill our heads with expectations and consequent disappointments, we live in the future that we hope one day exists, expecting that our partner will be what we dreamed of and one day, who knows… maybe we will be happy …

All this behaviour limits not only our partner but also and specially us and our happiness, forcing us to live in the future and in illusion, placing the networks of our life in the other and in the uncertain. In fact,  everywhere but in ourselves!

Sharing our live’s with someone is a daily job of nutrition, giving in, accepting and forgiving. Overcoming difficulties, growing and dreaming together is, on the other hand, one of the most rewarding gifts that life can bring us. No, we won’t have butterflies in our tummy forever but we  will always have that pride sparkle in our eyes for that person that we saw growing and overcoming himself daily, who we love unconditionally.

Loving someone implies loving ourselves first. Respecting someone means respecting ourselves in first place. If we feel safe and happy within we will know how to make room for the other to simply be himself (herself) and to live happily.

To love is to give them freedom to fly. It is to want more for the other than we want for ourselves. To find happiness in the small daily changes, to live each achievement as if it were ours, supporting the falls with a loving shoulder, believing even when he (she) is not able to.

Sharing your life with someone is like drawing a painting together with lots of color, intuition, presence and confidence. It’s tough but it makes it all worth it!

Love above all things is my life motto and my wedding phrase. I really believe in that, from the bottom of my heart, and it has been 12 years.

Love yourself and don’t give up, love is always worth it!

(Dedicated to the love of my life, Hugo Lopes)